Thinking Clearly

Río Atrato, Colombia. Photo by Nelammog via Wikimedia Commons. Public domain. In the days following the August 2026 earthquake in Colombia, I found myself tracking what was happening in Chocó. I had felt the earthquake myself. I knew how frightening it had been from the relative safety of Medellín, and I was deeply concerned about what was happening in a part of my country that has been historically poor, predominantly Afro-Colombian and Indigenous, and too often overlooked.

My role as a mediator is not to choose between Option A and Option B. It is to help the parties understand what they truly need and discover Option C. One of the most common mistakes negotiators make is believing they have only two choices. Agree or disagree. Win or lose. Stay or leave. Fight or surrender. When people become trapped in binary thinking, negotiations often stall. Emotions rise. Creativity disappears. Positions harden. And behavior changes. When people believe t

Sometimes vulnerability lets us see the person beyond the role. Lying in a hospital bed after major surgery is a humbling experience. There are tubes coming out of you. People are helping you with things you normally do for yourself. Your body is vulnerable. Your dignity feels negotiable. You are tired, sore, exposed, and dependent on the kindness and competence of strangers. And in that space, I saw nurses in a way I had not seen them before. For years, as a mediator, nurses

In difficult bargaining, the real issue is often who will carry the uncertainty. The latest CPI report is a reminder that the broader economy does not stay outside the bargaining room. As of April 2026, CPI is running at 3.8% year over year. Average hourly earnings are up 3.6% over the same period. The Employment Cost Index shows private industry wages and salaries up 3.4% over the year ending March 2026. The Atlanta Fed’s Wage Growth Tracker is at 3.9% overall, with workers

Awareness is not immunity. Yesterday I came across a post from fellow LinkedIn contributor Stu Van Rij where he called himself out for not following his own advice: talk less and listen more. What made it especially interesting was that he had just delivered a masterclass teaching that very concept. I agreed with him immediately, on two different levels. First, in mediation, like in negotiation, timing matters. A question can be insightful, strategic, even brilliant, and stil

Once the pattern is clear, the question changes. There’s a limit to differential diagnosis. In my last post, I wrote about the discipline of generating multiple explanations before committing to one. It’s a safeguard against misdiagnosis, and in negotiation, it’s one of the most powerful tools we have. But let’s be clear. Not every situation requires extended analysis. Sometimes, the signal is not subtle. Sometimes, the behavior is the message. And when that happens, the work

Misdiagnosing in negotiations can have dire effects. “They’re being unreasonable.” I’ve heard that sentence in more negotiations than I can count. And almost every time, it’s wrong. I was recently watching The Pitt, where, as a teaching hospital, newly minted doctors are required to present not only a diagnosis, but a list of differential diagnoses. In medicine, differential diagnosis is the process of identifying the cause of a patient’s symptoms by considering multiple poss

Clarity doesn’t require certainty. It requires discipline. “Trust, but verify” sounds simple. It isn’t. In negotiation, blind trust is risky. Total skepticism is paralyzing. The work lives in the middle. Trust keeps the process moving. It allows information to flow. It signals good faith. Verify protects the outcome. It checks assumptions. It keeps you grounded in reality. The mistake I see most often is treating this as a personality trait: • “I’m a trusting person” • “I don

Not every mediation ends with a deal. The best ones till move the process forward. Negotiators often believe that if a deal is not reached during mediation, then the mediation failed. I disagree. Settlement is one measure of success, but it is not the only one. A well-run mediation can create meaningful progress in ways that are less obvious but equally important. It can: Increase understanding Clarify interests and priorities Identify true deal breakers Narrow the issues Tes

This morning, Ollie and I went for a walk in Medellín. The air was crisp, the light soft, the park already alive. And then, inevitable dog poop. My immediate reaction was annoyance. My inner voice didn’t hesitate: People are so irresponsible. It felt satisfying. Clean. Certain. And then another question surfaced. Are people irresponsible? That stopped me. What did I actually know? I knew dog poop was left behind. That’s it. I didn’t know who left it. I didn’t know whether the

Certainty is the end of curiosity A funny thing happened to me today. I asked my AI assistant to draft a response to an email. I uploaded screenshots of the original message to provide context and ensure everything was accurate. The output was thoughtful, clear, and usable. Then I caught a mistake I did not expect. The person’s name was misspelled. I went back and asked what had happened. The name was clearly visible in the screenshots. There seemed to be no reason for the er

When the lights go out, who holds the power? Recently, I found myself facing what appeared to be a straightforward problem: an electrical issue in my apartment building. The inconvenience was real. Access, safety, habit, and routine were all disrupted. But the true challenge was not technical. It was strategic. Whenever you depend on someone else to resolve a problem, especially when a contract governs the relationship, you are in a negotiation whether you recognize it or not

Less is often more Recently, my cousin was visiting from Sweden and needed a shoe repair done quickly. It was December 22, two days before Christmas. We walked into a repair shop without calling ahead. The person behind the counter listened, smiled kindly, and said he couldn’t take the shoes. He was already at full capacity and couldn’t meet the turnaround time she needed My cousin didn’t argue. She didn’t get frustrated. She simply said that it was a very small repair and as

The good fight A few years ago, a colleague and I were asked to design a training program for judges and conciliators in another country. The stakes were high. We were both deeply invested in adult learning and determined to deliver something that did more than check a box. We wanted the program to matter. The months that followed were intense. We each had a clear vision of what the training needed to accomplish and strong opinions about how to get there. We argued about stru